Notes From the Quiet Corner

I honestly am not sure how I’m feeling right now. A little confused, maybe? Exhausted… but calm? I’m not sure. There’s a lot going on in life right now, and I cannot keep my emotions in check. Guess I’m gonna word barf it all down below.

1. School is starting for the first time. Now, we are homeschooling, so it’s a different kind of stress than that of sending my child away. I feel as though I have this humongous weight on my shoulders to make sure our homeschool is “perfect.”

2. My job of about 4 years is ending. Happy because I’m over it. Sad because I love the people I’m around.

3. I feel as though I’m losing touch with friends. They are moving on to new friends. Parents of children in school with their kids. I try to make new friends… but it just doesn’t seem to work. Do I try too hard? Am I just that unlikable? I don’t know…. Maybe my child is meant to be my only friend.

4. My family is so distant from me. I barely talk to them anymore. They don’t seem to want to see or talk to me either. These parts of the family have always been pretty self-centered, so I guess it shouldn’t surprise me.

5. It’s September. Holidays are coming. More hurt from family not being around.

6. Why do I live here? There’s nothing for me here. But I can’t quite leave. Is it who I’d be leaving with? Being stuck there, feeling completely alone? I guess that I should be used to it by now.

Ok, so maybe not all. I just need a vacation, or some alone time in a hotel. Even in this town. Some peace and quiet without literally anyone needing anything from me would be amazing.